If you've been reading along. You know that much of my story has dips and peaks. Valley's explored at depths and Summit's overcome after dedication to seeing new horizons. This roadtrip has been nothing but an incredible experience. But after about nearly 60 days on the road... It might be best to retrace the steps from current, back to departure from Massachusetts. With a few sidetracked tangents throughout...
In Vegas. My car broke down on Tuesday, the 28th of March. Speaking for myself, I was feeling a little bit lost. I have unspeakable gratitude for my girlfriend who helped me through the process of fixing my car. I am doing everything I can not to freak out and react from my past experiences and old feelings of being a loser, or incapable of achieving some level of stability with just... Life.
You know that I've experienced car failure, rolled a car on it's roof, and have been stranded before. Most times, alone. I felt less responsible for someone else being sucked into my randomly chaotic life in those instances. I remember one New Years eve, back in 2016. I had been driving my Subaru Impreza wagon back and forth from Shelburne, MA., to West Dover, VT., and sometimes through Vernon and back through Greenfield again to drop off my co-workers. It was a huge loop. There was a snowstorm that dumped 24 inches overnight. And I was in charge of getting my friends home.
After I emptied my car of my passengers for the night. I began my trek up the hill through Bernardston, MA. over Huckle Hill Rd. The wind had picked up and the snow began getting deeper. At the crest of hill, an incredible gust of wind came and blew a white canvas across my windshield. I could not see anything. It was nearing 11:00 pm and I figured I'd get home by midnight, an hour to get the next 35 miles, at best, if the roads cleared up on the other side of the hill.
Seconds after, I began sliding. My car was not even traveling more than 10 miles per hour on the way up the hill. But suddenly my dashboard read that I was going 30. The car was sideways, and I saw a telephone pole to my right... It was on the left side of the road, in my direction of travel. I had gone off the road about 50 feet, down a 10 foot ditch, into a field. The snow was much deeper there than it had been on the road. This was the first time I would be stranded and left to my own tools.
I walked up to the road, after changing into my snow pants, boots, winter jacket, dug out my gloves from the trunk and rolled a smoke to settle my heart-rate. I found a house with no lights, no cars, nobody around. I called for help, knocked on the windows, doors and circled the property. Someone lived there, but they were either under blankets and as deeply asleep as the rest of the world was under the blankets of snow that piled up outside. Time was wasting.
I had no plan. I called my friends, my mom, and a tow truck. Nobody answered immediately. I went back to the car, grabbed a shovel and small axe. I walked to the edge of the field, found some trees and cut small branches off. As I made my way back to the car, someone had pulled up into the driveway of the house that I had been walking around. They dropped off something on the front step and left. My beckons and calls from field were deafened by the sound of country music and the insulated atmosphere of falling flakes. As fat as my thumb. Slowly the car was being buried.
After collecting sticks to use for traction against the wet grass and layers of icy crust that I had begun breaking through, I had gotten through to the police who called for a flatbed. Their best estimate was one hour arrival, I told them to just not even come. I'd figure it out. The officer refused to not respond to a reported vehicle off the road, which apparently had been called in by the Fireman who had stopped at the house. It was an armload of woad that he left on the doorstep. He was a neighbor and the people in the home were in their 80's, I later found out.
By the time the Officer had arrived, I was standing on the road, next to my car, and a snowbank that I dug through twice because a plow had passed once after I dug it out. I was beyond fed up with the lack of awareness or genuine care that the people who worked for the state had been showing me. The officer showed up and gave me a hassle, saying that I smelled like weed and that my eyes were red. I had been off the road at this point, shoveling in a snowstorm and using tree branches to drive out of a fucking field. I cried, panicked and freaked out for multiple hours, while trying to keep composure and keep moving. He let me off and said "Drive safe". It was 2:35 AM. I had work at 5:45 AM in 3hours and had to pick up my friends in Vernon and Shelburne before going to West Dover again.
Let's get back to Vegas. It's Saturday, April 1st. This was written just after I got the car back: - We are leaving today and it's not a joke. I found out the issue was something that I wouldn't have been able to figure out without more tools than I had. The box of spark plugs that I had was apparently a box of duds. Likely because they'd been tossed in the back of the car and thrown around the 3 times that I moved in the last 2 months prior to leaving Massachusetts.
The plan today is to head south and west, one last time. To California. I have not given up on that. From there, we begin our return trip to Massachusetts. We have less than two weeks to get back before returning to our duties and responsibilities.
So now, let's backtrack. Yesterday we waited until the last moment before booking another room, reluctant to spend more money on the road as our funds have slowly fallen to near zero. I was lucky that my girlfriend came out to meet me in Colorado, and even luckier that she came out with some money... Because I would quite literally have had nothing unless I was able to pick up some more gigs. The car's repair cost was $220.84, our room turned out to be $170. After thinking about it, even if we had found another hotel for $100, we likely would have spent $70 in Uber fee's. Having to Uber to the next hotel, then to the car to pick it up, and then the idea of walking around with our bags and no protected place to put them down... We decided we'd take it easy on ourselves.
The day prior, we had been staying with Maddie's brother. My car had been in the parking garage since Tuesday. I had tried just about everything that I could and had properly diagnosed the issue without a code reader. After getting to a shop we got the code read and found a misfire in Cylinder 4. I still wasn't able to fix the problem myself after putting in new Spark plugs and an ignition Coil. I was running out of patience, and I began thinking we might be stuck in Vegas longer than expected if I don't just throw in the towel and have someone else finish the job. The feelings of being a loser and incapable of stability on any level returned in a crashing wave.
Tuesday morning is where the problems really started. We had just arrived in Vegas the night before. I found a room for us that was very cheap, but had hidden resort fees, everything has a hidden fee these days. I joked about taking my first bath that I could remember since being on this trip... I wish I hadn't joked. My neck was in pain from going all in on our last day skiing potentially in Utah for this trip. I was sending myself off everything, and with speed.
The car usually starts with a bit of an uneven idle, but it calms and finds a pattern typically pretty in a minute or two. Cold starts are known to be noisy with Subaru's. This was different. The car shook. The dashboard lit up with a flashing cruise control light and a check engine light. The idle never settled. Immediately I began trying to diagnose it. Later, my theory was confirmed by a code reader. PO304, a code for cylinder misfire. Just my luck, the hardest cylinder to reach in the car.
I began looking online at how the plugs were even accessed on this car. My last couple vehicles were from the 90's and had small motors and big bodies. Much easier to work in and around the block. And my last car had the plugs and wires right on the top of the motor basically.
Being a Subaru, it's a boxer motor. 4 cylinders on the motor, two on each side of the block. With the turbo added, there's some extra things that will be in the engine bay as well. The coil pack on plug system is known to be efficient, but not easily removed or worked on unless you've been in and around that area in the engine bay before. I had to remove the battery, a couple heat shrouds, and a few other parts to get down into an area where I could just barely slip my fingers into. Seeing the bolts that I needed to remove was almost impossible. I was lucky to be able to feel for their location and lock on with the socket.
I spent three days trying to fix this problem. Doing the job in entirety 4 separate times. The first attempt took almost 6 hours just to get the coil and plugs out just because I had no clue that the plugs would be along the frame rails inside the engine bay. After that, the process began getting easy because over and over I could not fix the issue... Later finding out the plugs were broken internally and I would have had no way to see that.
Now writing from Moab, we spent the night in the desert in the same camping area that I wrote from almost a month ago. Maddie and I visited my friend in LA earlier this week, spread some of Zeek's ashes in the Pacific Ocean, Joshua Tree, The Grand Canyon, and Moab. We drove back from the LA coastline and back to Moab in a matter of 48 hours. Covering over 1,200 miles from Sunday. This trip is not a let down, but I have had to erase the hopes of seeing many destinations. Money never came. I'm beyond grateful for what I have seen and experienced on this trip so far, and know that returning "home to Massachusetts" will only be a temporary phrase. Maddie and I are both in agreement that moving out West next year is already in the books.
Back to Present. Maddie's birthday was yesterday and we spent the day slowly waking up in a bed which was much needed after our last two weeks bouncing around. Unpacking our belongings to try to re-organize our lives for the final stretch back to the East. Getting brunch and going to a small hike in Boulder, CO. We hung out with my good friend Max and visited his girlfriend at the bar where she works. Our plan had been to go skiing, but money was tight for the last couple weeks and we had to be smart about spending. She woke up to some extra money in her account and we now plan to do a ski day on Sunday before leaving to see my grandma in St Paul.
Our plan moving forward is to leave Denver for St Paul and back home from there. My Grandma is in the hospital and I am tired from the last 2 months on the road. It's a miracle that we've made it this far without the money that I planned to have. I'm counting my blessings and just happy for anything extra along the way. We visited hot springs and met some wonderful travelers with the familiar "Green plates" from VT. We have both taken hot showers and caught up on sleep. More blessings to count. A week ago I was freaking out about my car.
The next 3 days will be spent collecting our things and preparing for the journey back home. We stayed two nights in the desert, one with a wind storm and dust and sand being thrown everywhere. The next night, we cooked steak and Annie's Mac and Cheese and a Yam. I brought VT maple syrup with me on the trip. Decadence. Simple pleasures.
Prior to Vegas, we spent time in Salt lake with a mutual friend of Maddie and I. Bridie, an incredible person with so many gifts and talents. Listening to Bridie sing and play guitar was a treat after long days on the river back when I was a raft guide for Zoar. Maddie and Bridie met through school. We went to a rock gym and went climbing.
We also met with my friend's Richard and Clay while they were in the last leg of their trip. I drove them to the airport as their send off. Skiing in Salt lake was a thrill, there had been more snow that came down since my prior visit to Salt Lake, just about a month ago. Prior to Salt Lake, we were in Denver.
Although this trip was promised to be much more than what it has been, and I didn't keep up on some of my own promises just through exhaustion from the road... I have had countless profound moments and memories. I have gotten through some interesting stress tests, and I have to thank Maddie for a lot of her support and patience with me when I would slowly lose hope on different objectives. Even though money has been a limiting factor from time to time, we have stayed in some incredible places and seen incredible things. We've skied the best snow that I have ever skied in my life. Maddie agreed in Salt Lake. There are no regrets when looking back on the last 2 months. I have had an experience that may only come once in a life time and I got to share it with my new and budding love with Maddie.
In the next week, we will be returning back to Massachusetts/VT, I have a lot of work to catch up on in my portfolio and on my website. There will be coupons and discounts for photoshoots coming and I will be looking to upgrade my gear when I get back to Massachusetts and liquidate some of the outdated gear that I have. There's a lot to look forward to, and with the idea and hopes of moving back West for the next winter season will only push me harder to fulfill my list of goals and further pursue my dreams of building this business.
It is unlikely that you will hear from me before then. I have to prepare for the celebration of life back home for Zeek. Re-collect my things which have been strewn across Western Mass and Southern VT in storage at friends/family. Life still feels very up in the air now that I will be returning home and have to figure out housing logistics and my plan for where I will have my computer, bed and all the rest.
I will likely land with my godmother and look into liquidating a lot of my personal belongings while I'm back in the area. Mostly my collection of Pokémon cards, my extra rafting gear and other bits and pieces of things that I've collected over time. My goal for the summer is to build further on my portfolio with portrait and commercial work, but also focus more on my own art. Landscapes, architecture and conceptual pieces.
I will be releasing an interactive digital book over the summer which will include closer looks at the travels, and releasing video projects which will feature many different images and clips from this adventure.
If I find myself extra time, I will update things throughout the weekend and coming week. But it does feel like as we begin this return to the East, I am thinking more and more of how long it will be before I feel settled in. The journey will never end, as we know. But thank you for joining me, On The Road.
Comments